my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
