I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
