my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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