i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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