Can Purell be used as lube?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize