Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I love you.
Bad choice
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