This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
