I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
