u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
