You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
