Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
