that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
