well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
