i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
