Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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