No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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