All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
