Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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