Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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