Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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