he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
