just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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