I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
