We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They took my balls.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
