I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
