Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think i peed on brittanys purse
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
