lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
