I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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