my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
