This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm passing your future prison.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
