Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
