yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
