sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you still have your period?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
