i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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