I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
