dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
