His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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