Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize