Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You took a bar mat shot.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
