he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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