i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize