Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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