the condom got lost in my hair
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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