i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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