Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
