Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
