I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We talked him into tasing himself.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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