All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
