some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
