I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
