I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize