Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
