I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
