After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
