It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
