wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
