her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
