Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
