JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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