Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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