Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
